We must improve our criticism

We need to get better at criticism. Much better. That is my criticism of the church.

I agree with secular best-selling management consultant and author Patrick Lencioni when he offers this critique in his book The Advantage: “Nowhere does this tendency toward artificial harmony show itself more than in mission-driven nonprofit organizations, most notably churches. People who work in those organizations tend to have a misguided idea that they cannot be frustrated or disagreeable with one another. What they’re doing is confusing being nice with being kind.”

Substitute the word “loving” for “kind” and I think he has it exactly right. Perhaps being loving is the church’s reaction to a culture of cynicism, but what Lencioni sees missing is direct constructive criticism.

Typically, we let our criticism swirl unchecked in our thoughts, brewing poison which often spills over into conversation with confidants and at some point boils into confrontation that can no longer be loving. That was not Paul’s intent when he told the Ephesians to be “speaking the truth in love,” resulting in a body of Christ that “builds itself up in love as each part does its work.” (Eph. 4:15-16)

We are to love each other enough to tell each other the sorts of things everyone needs to hear so as not to go on hurting ourselves and others. We need to do this readily, directly and measured by the standard of truth we hold in common – God’s word. To do that we must have previously established personal loving relationships with one another so the other person knows where we’re coming from and that we welcome the same sort of critique from them.

We need to constantly remind each other who we really are.

Scripture clearly tells us we have zero right or reason to deserve membership in God’s family. Underneath the façade, we are all sinners … failures at life. As we admit that, we gain God’s grace and the fellowship of other equally unworthy members worshiping together in our local churches. Is it not, then, absurd that we ever take offense when someone points to any of our shortcomings? How can we be so sensitive to criticism? Having gained entrance to this community of totally unworthy souls, we somehow feel the need to build a case for our own righteousness and worth to God and God’s people. It is as if we somehow decide we have no continuing, absolute need of God’s grace.

Yes, the church needs to get better at criticism – giving and receiving it – in love.

David G. Goodman
President, Entrust

When Sheep Bite

“If I could wish one thing for Christian leaders, it would be a thicker skin.”

That was some of the wisest counsel I ever received. It came early in my ministry.
Members of flocks might wish shepherds were more sensitive to their needs. But the reality is, when shepherds find their sheep can bite like wolves, they easily become too defensive to act in their own best interests, let alone that of their flocks. This is true not only of pastors, but Christian leaders of all sorts.

I wrote last month about our culture of cynicism. Christian leaders expect to be ridiculed outside the fold, but when it happens on the inside it can lead to alienation and burnout.

Scripture has much to say about cynicism. From the very beginning cynicism has been one of the adversary’s most effective tools. You can hear the mocking tone in the serpent’s question of Adam and Eve: “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” The serpent skillfully makes God’s command seem utterly ridiculous, leading the woman to caricature God’s command further by adding something God did not say, “neither shall you touch it.” (Gen. 3:1-3)

Cynicism reduces and reframes truth so we can more easily dismiss it and willfully go our own way. All of Adam and Eve’s subsequent sons and daughters have paid dearly for the serpent’s cynical bite into their innocence.

What can a leader do?

We must remember it was cynicism that hung a blameless savior on the cross, not realizing this “King of the Jews” could have stopped the process at any time. We who lead should not be taken aback when Christian ministry provokes echoes of that same cynicism.

We must not be surprised when cynicism surfaces within our own Christian circles. Our sheep, like us, are in process, are being transformed. Perhaps one of the most important lessons of the book of Acts is that sin, failure, rebuke and rebellion are the realities of the Christian church. God wants to use these things in the life of the church to help us all grow. Cynicism tries to shortcut that process and deny the truth.

In these times in which we live, Christian leaders must move counter to the tide. Proverbs warns repeatedly that anyone who takes on mockers “invites insults.” Mockers “resent correction, so they avoid the wise.” (Prov. 9:7, 15:12 NIV) It is part of a leader’s job to challenge a culture of cynicism and to take the guff for it. The leader must set the pace and nurture a mutually supportive atmosphere within the ministry by resisting the temptation to ridicule and mock. Humor is a powerful tool in a leader’s hands. A few wry words can reduce tension and ease the friction in the room. Yet that humor can easily be used at others’ expense.

In the words of one of the world’s greatest leaders, “When you talk, do not say harmful things, but say what people need – words that will help others become stronger. Then what you say will do good to those who listen to you.” (Eph. 4:29 NCV)

© David G. Goodman

President, Entrust

Challenging a culture of cynicism

The line for the Late Show with David Letterman wound completely around the block. Arriving early to stand in the cold with a horde of fans, I was accompanied by several Northwestern University students who wanted their pastor to join them in experiencing Letterman’s visit to Chicago. I was delighted at the invitation and a chance to spend time with some wonderful young men.

Decades later, I cannot tell you who was on the program that night, but I have a strong memory of something that happened as we stood in line. A group of enterprising evangelists started shouting into megaphones, calling on these Letterman fans to repent and avoid an eternity in hell.

My first response was to cringe, realizing my group of students had more in common with the embarrassing street preachers than with the captive audience standing in that line. Though we would have never taken such an approach, we couldn’t help feeling somewhat dismissed by this crowd of seasoned cynics — gathered to laugh at Letterman’s latest Top Ten mockery of any leader in the news — now laughing at the faith we held dear.

Cynicism may be contemporary society’s favorite tool to absolve itself of responsibility. Just as it is reassuring when your physician produces a label for what ails you (incomprehensible as it may be), the cynic gains a false sense of mastery over any issue simply by clothing it in absurdity and reducing it to manageable dimensions to be neatly filed away somewhere and perhaps never re-examined.

Return with me to that Letterman queue. Initially, I identified uncomfortably with those inept evangelists, but cynicism rushed to my rescue. I would never use such inept methodology. I effectively absolved myself of responsibility. A more Spirit-led response might have been to admire the evangelists’ courage in braving the abuse of Letterman fans. I could have challenged my young friends to come up with their own creative strategies to reach the particular subgroup of people standing in that line.

Our Western culture of cynicism makes church leadership in the U.S. increasingly difficult. I’m finding, to my great surprise, that most pastors in the majority world (outside North America) receive much more respect than pastors in the U.S. Consider how easily we mock the President (any president) of the United States, for example, saying things we would not dare utter if we ever had the opportunity to talk face to face.

In similar fashion, discussion about the pastor around the Sunday dinner table is often loaded with cynicism. Why? Pastors and church leaders challenge parishioners to change. Cynicism provides a way out of change — a response restating the issue, often humorously, and allowing for a sense of intellectual superiority before dismissing the issue out of hand. If we are honest, we must admit cynicism is quite often a cheap substitute for honest dialogue.

What should we do about our cynicism?

First, we can challenge ourselves and each other. When the laughter dies down, ask yourself or others in the group, “What issue am I (are we) trying to avoid with this cynicism?”

Next month: what does the Bible say about cynicism?

© David G. Goodman

President, Entrust