Of holidays and complicated families

Do you have a complicated family? Jesus did.

The mother who miraculously conceived him, marveled at his interactions with the rabbis in the temple and watched him grow up to be an exemplary big brother still felt she knew what was better for her adult son.

The brothers who marveled at the fine wine poured from those six stone water jars at the wedding in Cana (jars they may well have helped fill with water earlier that day) still did not know what to do with their big brother’s unprecedented words and actions. The only category they could come up with was that Jesus had really “lost it!” The apostle John tells us Jesus’ brothers didn’t believe in him. (John 7:5)

While he was busy saving the world, Jesus’ own family members seemed to be trying to save him from himself. What irony. Mark records that his family “went out to seize him.” They were certain he was “out of his mind.” (Mark 3:21)

Even more painful for Jesus must have been the time his family tried to interrupt his teaching. That day, the crowd was so thick his family couldn’t get through to him. When Jesus heard his relatives were outside trying to get in, his response was to gesture to his listeners and say, “Here are my mother and brothers.” (Matt. 12:48-50)

Pain was written on his face when he said that. I am certain. Regret that his own family did not know what they were doing. “For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother” Jesus said. Could he have wanted anything more than for his brothers and mother to be part of this transcendent family from the start, rather than at the end when we find them all worshiping him in the upper room after his resurrection and ascension? (Acts 1:14)

For many of us, the holidays are complicated when those we love don’t know what to do with us. Making faith a priority just feels wrong to them. Our “strange” need for fellowship with other Christians and our desire to grow in God’s word seems like distorted reality to them. When some of us travel half-way around the world to minister the gospel, when others of us sacrifice to support those who go, those outside of Christ’s family can find no rational categories for such behavior.

As love sometimes compels those closest to us to oppose us, it is love that has the best chance of winning them over. Jesus demonstrated that love while dying on the cross as he gave his mother into John’s care. (John 19:26). I have to believe it was that consistency of Jesus’ love, combined with an unfaltering faithfulness to his calling, which finally won over his family.

What better hope is there, for those of us who find ourselves complicating the holidays among those we love?


© David G. Goodman
President, Entrust